


You Won't Be Alone

by indiefic



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-12 02:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4461134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiefic/pseuds/indiefic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Captain America: the First Avenger.  Peggy goes to Steve after Bucky's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She knew it was bad at a glance.  The grim set of Colonel Phillips’ features were more grim than usual.  He handed her the folder without a word and left.

 

Heart in her throat, Peggy opened the file, quickly scanning the report.  Years of service prevented anything from showing on her features.  Taking a deep breath, she closed the folder and then reached for her coat.  Orders be damned.

* * *

 

She picked her way through the burnt out ruins of the pub, ignoring the warnings playing over the PAs outside.  The venue seemed unsuitably melancholy for Steve.  But then again, it was, no doubt, a fitting backdrop for his world.  The same world that had been torn asunder only hours earlier with Barnes’ death.  And at least here, he was alone.  Well, until she had showed up.  Though that was clearly the reason Colonel Phillips had shown her the report, knowing full well she was supposed to be on a plane to France at this very moment.

 

Steve was slumped at the table, glass in hand.  He glanced over his shoulder as she entered the room and made a feeble attempt to wipe away the tears.  He didn’t belabor the point, as if it were useless.  As if he had no choice but to be vulnerable and weak.  As if he were still the asthmatic boy from Brooklyn, unable to be anything other than completely himself.

 

He reached for the bottle, pouring more into his empty glass as she went to stand next to him.  “Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells,” he said, voice thick with emotion.  “Create a protective system of regeneration and healing.  Which means, um,” he paused, shaking his head.  “I can`t get drunk.”  He turned his head toward her.  “Did you know that?”

 

She took a deep breath and turned, reaching for for an overturned chair though he hadn’t invited her to join him.  “Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person,” she said, setting the chair next to the table.  Delicately, she took a seat, watching Steve.  “He thought it could be one of the side effects.”

 

Steve opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but then closed it again.  He was a picture of abject misery, his pain nearly palpable.  How terribly odd it was, she thought, that she should have such intimate knowledge of his biochemistry, that she should simply insert herself into his darkest moment without so much as an invitation and all the while rarely giving him any notion of what he truly meant to her.

 

Smiling softly, she leaned toward him.  “It wasn't your fault,” she said with forced brightness, as if putting the stiff English upper lip into play would have any affect on him.  She couldn’t will him to forgive himself.  But she could damn well try.

 

“Did you read the report?” he asked bitterly, not meeting her gaze.

 

“Yes.”

 

He shook his head, his self-loathing evident in every tiny movement.  “Then you know that`s not true.”

 

“You did everything you could,” she said firmly, because it was true.  How many times had she uttered those words knowing they were half truths?  In this case, it was the absolute truth.  Steve would have done anything in his power to save Bucky.  And Peggy knew that if Steve could trade places with his friend, he would do so gladly.  

 

“Did you believe in your friend?” she asked.  As expected, that caused him to meet her gaze sharply.  “Did you respect him?” she continued, not bothering to wait for an answer to her rhetorical question.  They both knew the answers to those questions.  They were so obvious, it was nearly laughable.

 

“Then stop blaming yourself,” she said softly, though it was more of an order.  “Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice.  He damn well must have thought you were worth it.”  It was a compelling argument.  The truth.  Words Peggy had uttered many times to many grieving young men.  And yet she had never more clearly sympathized with them.  Barnes died trying to save Steve.  For the first time, she understood that level of selfish selflessness.  She would have made the same call.  Better to save him than to be the one left behind.

 

“I`m going after Schmidt,” Steve said darkly, his voice thick with that same grim determination that colored his entire existence.  “I`m not gonna stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured.”

 

“You won't be alone.”

 

He looked up, that same crushing vulnerability shining in his eyes.  

 

“You don’t have to be alone tonight,” she said boldly, her gaze dropping to the scarred tabletop.  “Not if you don’t want to.”

 

She waited, staring at the table, listening to the PA announcements.  While Peggy had never been a shrinking violet, she had also never been quite so forward and certainly not with an enlisted man in her unit.

 

She watched as his hand reached forward, grasping one of hers.  She looked up, meeting his gaze.

 

“I don’t want to be alone,” he said quietly.  “Not tonight.”

 

“Well, that’s settled then,” she said evenly, rising to her feet.

 

END CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2

The flat was tiny and messy, though that had little to do with the bombings and everything to do with Peggy’s failings as a housekeeper.  At least the power was out.  The mess was less horrific by candlelight.  She blew out the match, setting it on the chipped saucer.

 

The walk to her flat had been surreal, her hand clasped with Steve’s, both of them trudging down the burnt out streets like they were going to their doom rather than to bed together.  Peggy didn’t understand it.  She wanted him.  And she knew he wanted her.  She’d taken lovers before.  But this, now, with Steve, it felt like so much more than just sex.  Like neither of them had a chance of walking away from this unscathed.  It was terrifying.

 

Steve was sitting on the tiny sofa in her equally tiny parlor.  His hands were clasped in his lap and his elbows were braced against his thighs as he slumped forward, pretending to study the floor.  Peggy crossed the room to him, staring down at the top of his had.

 

“I don’t feel sorry for you,” she announced.

 

He looked up at her, brow furrowed.

 

She frowned.  “I mean to say, that’s not why I invited you back here.  It isn’t - “

 

“A pity fuck?” Steve supplied evenly.

 

She frowned harder.  “Captain Rogers, language,” she replied out of habit.  “And yes - “ she caught herself.  “I mean, no, it’s not.”  She stopped, hating how flustered she was.  “That’s not why I invited you here.”

 

He watched her for several long heartbeats and for the first time in as long as she had known him, she couldn’t read anything in his features.  

 

“So why did you invite me here, Peggy?”

 

“Because I - “ she started and then stopped.  “I wanted to.”

 

He nodded, looking away.

 

“I hope you don’t find me horribly forward,” she said, knowing it was far too little, far too late.

 

He laughed mirthlessly.  “I’ve been propositioned more times than the girls in the USO chorus line,” he said blandly.

 

“Really?” she asked, truly shocked.

 

He looked up at her surprised expression and smiled.  “This is the first time I’ve accepted.”

 

“Oh,” she said dumbly.  “Well then ... Good.”

 

He smiled and seemed to take pity on her, rising to stand, at the same time he reached out, cupping her elbows and pulling her close.  She went willingly, sliding her palms up his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.  They simply stood there for a long time, his lips barely resting against her forehead, her breasts grazing against his chest.

 

“I'm sorry about Barnes,” she said quietly.

 

She could feel, more than hear, Steve’s laugh.  “I'm sure it'd amuse the hell outta him to know this is what it took for us ta -” he stopped, awkwardly.  “I mean for you to -”

 

“Deflower you?” she asked, trying not to smile.

 

“That obvious?” he asked dryly.

 

She looked up at him, smiling softly.  She shook her head.  “No,” she said, “it isn't obvious.”

 

He looked down at her for a long moment.  Slowly, he ducked his head, pressing his lips to hers.  She sighed, pushing up on her tiptoes, meeting him as her hands moved upward, curling around his neck, her fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

 

His lips were soft against hers, pliant.  She nipped at him and he responded in kind, his arms pulling her closer.  She caught his bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, biting down on it before her tongue tickled the phantom hurt.  He sighed, parting his lips and she deepened the kiss, tasting him.  His breath caught, but he matched her eagerly, his tongue playing against hers, dipping into her mouth.

 

For a long time, all they did was kiss and touch.  Both of their breaths were coming in short puffs as they each strained for more.  Peggy’s calves were beginning to ache from the way she was pressing herself up against him and she pulled back from him.  Placing her hands against his chest, she guided him back to the small sofa, pushing him to sit as she climbed into his lap, straddling him.

 

She mounted him, pressing against his obvious hardness, and he groaned.  “ _Fuck_ , Peg,” he said, his hands cupping her bottom, pulling her closer.

 

She kissed him, hard, all teeth and tongue and desire.  His hands moved to her ankles, his fingers tracing lightly up the curve of her leg, skimming over her stockings.  Her skirt had ridden up.  As he reached the top of her stockings, where her garters attached, he groaned.  She broke off the kiss, panting harshly as his fingers played over the boundary where stockings gave way to bare skin.

 

Her fingers went to work at the buttons of his jacket and he shrugged out of it, pulling his arms free as she worked at the buttons of his shirt.  He returned the favor, pushing off the trenchcoat she’s forgotten she was wearing and then fumbling at the buttons of her jacket.  As his fingers brushed against her breasts, he seemed to lose his nerve, breathing hard.

 

She pulled his tie loose and then pushed his shirt back off his shoulders.  He dutifully took it off and then sat there in his undershirt, waiting.  Her fingers went to the buttons of her own jacket.  “Do you want me to do it?” she asked.

 

He opened his mouth and then closed it, looking at her, brow furrowed.  She understood and smiled.  “I’ll tell if you’re doing something I don’t want you to do,” she assured him.  “I’m very good at giving orders.”

 

He seemed relieved and reached for the buttons, quickly releasing them.  Her hands gripped his upper arms, kneading restlessly.  He didn’t wait for her to shrug out of the jacket before moving on to the buttons of her blouse.  As the bare skin of her upper chest was revealed, he slowed, carefully parting the halves of fabric, drawing his fingertips lightly over her skin.  The tip of his finger dipped into the valley between her breasts.

 

She shuddered, her breathing shallow as she pushed forward, into his touch.  He quickly released the rest of the buttons and she shrugged out of her jacket and blouse impatiently.  She was wearing a full slip, not one of her nicer ones, of course.  She hadn’t been anticipating this end to the evening when she dressed hours earlier.  Though she doubted Steve noticed or cared.  He was staring at her like she was alternately something infinitely precious and some puzzle to decipher.

 

She reached forward, grabbing handfulls of his undershirt and pulling it over his head.  She tossed it over her shoulder and looked at him, her mouth going dry.  God, he was beautiful.  She reached out, skimming hands over his chest, watching the play of her red nails against his pale skin.  She looked at him and smiled.  His hair was all rumpled and his lips were swollen from kissing.  He looked absolutely delicious.  So she decided to taste him again.

 

She teased him with lips and tongue, pressing her chest against his, relishing the feel of skin on skin.  His hands traced over her back, skimming over the silky material of her slip until they encountered the waistband of her skirt and then stopping.  Tentatively, he dipped his fingers under the waistband, tugging lightly.

 

“I trust you know how a zipper works,” she said, around kisses.

 

He nodded and quickly went to work on the zipper of her skirt, opening it wide.  It allowed him to skim his hands down her back and over her rump, under her skirt.  He used the grip to pull her tighter against him.  She broke off the kiss, panting at the feel of his hard length pressed so intimately against her.  

 

“We need to - “ she panted, pushing back from him.  He looked up at her, clearly worried.  She grabbed his hand, pulling him up off the sofa, “we need to relocate.”  She picked up the candle and walked to her bedroom, holding her skirt up with one hand.

 

With obvious relief, he followed her through the dark flat to her bedroom. The candle didn’t do much to illuminate the space.  Though even in the dim light, her bed looked ridiculously small.  Her shoes were somewhere in the parlor, so she turned in stocking feet to look at him, staring up at him from a farther distance than she was accustomed to.  He stared down at her, hands restless at his sides.

 

She set the candle on her small vanity and looked at him.  She released her grip on her skirt and the material slid down, pooling around her feet, leaving her in her slip and undergarments.  He swallowed audibly and slowly reached for her.  She let him draw her near, skimming his hands down her shoulders, over her back and hips.  His mouth was open slightly and his breath puffed at her temple.

 

She ran her fingers up his chest, across his collarbone to his shoulders.  Peggy didn’t consider herself someone who was easily swayed by a pretty face or a nice build.  In fact, it was the least of her fascination with Steve.  But she could not deny that she loved his body, and she so rarely got to admire him properly.  There was always the temptation to stare, so she had long ago schooled herself to keep her attention fixed firmly on his eyes.  He had lovely eyes.  But good lord, his body ...  

 

Biting down on her bottom lip, she gripped him tighter than was necessary, digging the points of her fingernails into his muscles.  His breath caught, and came faster.  She pushed up on tiptoe and nipped at his jaw, feeling stubble scrape against her teeth.  A shudder went through him and his mouth was open in a pant.  She continued to nip and kiss, moving to his ear, catching his earlobe between her teeth.  She dug the nails of her left hand in deeper, using her grip to steady herself as her right hand moved down his chest to the waistband of his trousers.  She released his belt.  

 

His hands found her hips and he dipped his head, catching her lips and kissing her deeply.  His tongue slid against hers, hot and teasing.  She slid her fingers under the waistband of his trousers, her fingertips tracing over his shorts and the rigid flesh beneath. He broke off the kiss, pressing his face, cheek to cheek with her, his lips at her ear.  She listened to his labored breathing as she released the fly of his trousers and worked the material down his hips.  She cupped him through his shorts, tracing the outline of his cock with her hand.  He made a helpless noise deep in his throat and she grasped him, squeezing lightly.  She moved down, skimming over his balls, earning herself a stifled moan.

 

She turned her head, nipping at his earlobe again.  “I want to taste you,” she said.  “But I want to fuck you too.”  She caught his lips again, kissing him as she stroked him through his shorts.  She pulled back far enough to look at him.  “If I suck you off, can you get it up again soon?”

 

He looked at her, jaw lax, pupils dilated.  He nodded.

 

“Not every guy can,” she said quietly, leaning in and kissing him gently.  “It’s nothing to be embarrass- “

 

With a growl, he pushed her backward, pinning her to the wall between her bed and her little bookshelf, grinding against her while his tongue explored her mouth.  He leaned in, pressing his lips against her ear.  “I can get it up again, Peg,” he said with a short laugh.  “No problem.”  

 

She wrapped her left hand against the back of his head, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck while her right hand slid between their bodies, rubbing him again.  He groaned, his hips pushing into her.  She licked her lips and asked, “Do you think about me when you ...”

 

“Jerk off?” he asked with another self-deprecating laugh.  “Always.”  He bit down gently on her earlobe, and then said breathlessly, “ _Often_.”

 

She smiled, biting down on her bottom lip.  “I think about you too,” she said.

 

He groaned, his fingers biting into her hips, inching the material of her slip upward until it was bunched at her waist.  Slowly, he pulled the material over her head, leaving her in her brassiere, panties, garter belt and stockings.  He looked down at her the way she’d seen starving men look at a piece of bread.  She widened her stance in invitation and his breath caught again.  He reached out with the back of his hand, gently running his knuckles across her chest, tracing the outside of her breast, down her rib cage and lower.  He took a deep breath and tentatively brushed the back of his hand against her sex.  She caught his hand in her own, guiding him to touch her through her panties, which were completely damp.  

 

“Fuck,” he hissed, rubbing her through the material.  He caught her lips again, kissing her hard before he knelt in front of her, his hands at her waist.  

 

She stood there, leaning back against the wall, staring down at him.  She arched an eyebrow.  

 

“Let me,” he said quietly.

 

This was certainly a first, for a first encounter.  She was going to assume that she had Barnes and the Howlies and some wildly inappropriate oversharing to thank for this.  In her experience, this wasn’t something most men would attempt at all, much less when they were as untried as Steve.  But she would forever have faith in him.  She nodded.  

 

He leaned forward, pressing kisses to her ribs, nuzzling at her lace covered breasts while his nimble fingers found the clasp of her garter belt and quickly released it.  He pulled it down and away, taking her stockings with it.  She stepped out of them widening her stance even farther.  His fingers traced over the curve of her ass and he hooked his thumbs under the material of her panties, pulling them down her legs. She braced her hands against his shoulders, feeling incredibly exposed, which she was.  Or so she thought.  Gently, he grasped her ankle in his hand, urging her to lift it.  She did and he guided her to brace it against the bed, completely opening her to him.  He groaned, leaning forward and pressing kisses to her inner thigh.  Her head smacked back against the wall and she threaded her fingers through his hair.  While he kissed her thigh, his fingers explored her gently, sifting through her damp curls and entering her so tentatively.  She gasped, her fingers tightening in his hair.  He didn’t stop.  His kisses moved closer to the apex of her thighs and soon his tongue was there, tracing against her lips, parting her.  He licked across her clit and she hissed through her teeth.  He looked up at her then, needing reassurance that he was doing it right and she nodded frantically.  He licked her again and she bit back a moan, her hips pushing against him.  That seemed to be the only encouragement he needed.  He licked her again and again.  Her mouth was open and she was panting, clutching at his head.  She knew he was getting frustrated with the limitations of their positions.  With a growl, he pulled away and grabbed the covers off her bed, ripping them loose and scattering them across the floor before he pulled her down with him.  

 

Before she fully realized what was happening, she was flat on her back on the floor with her thighs over his shoulders as he licked and sucked her.  His thumb circled her clit as he moved lower, stabbing his tongue inside her and she moaned, arching off the floor.  “Please, please,” she begged.  He moved, levering himself up, sealing his lips around her clit, his tongue resting against it as he sucked, while at the same time, two of his fingers stretched her.

 

She came with a cry, clutching at him, her fingernails digging deeply into his bicep.  He kept her cresting until it was too much and she rolled away onto her side, panting harshly.  He stopped, resting his chin against her hip, waiting.  

 

“ _Jesus_ ,” she cursed, looking at him in wonder.

 

He arched an eyebrow at her.  “I told you,” he said.  “I think about you.  A lot.”

 

She let her head fall back to the floor as she caught her breath.  He slowly crawled up her body and she rolled back onto her back, kissing him eagerly.  He rested against her and she could feel him, hard against her thigh.  

 

She pushed at him, forcing him off her and onto his back.  “My turn,” she said archly.  She looked down at him and then reached behind herself to take off her bra.  

 

“Let me, please,” he said.  

 

She looked at him and shrugged.  He sat up, reaching for her.  He pulled her close, skimming his fingertips around her.  He quickly released the row of eyelet hooks.  He stared at her chest as he slowly pulled the material away, exposing her breasts.  His attention was absolutely riveted on her and his mouth was open in a pant.  She reached down and gripped him through his shorts.  He shuddered, but didn’t take his eyes off her breasts.  

 

“You’re awfully adept at removing ladies’ undergarments,” she said.

 

He nodded, still staring at her breasts.  “USO tour,” he said absently.  “Those girls forgot I was even there after a while.  Learned a lot.”  His hand reached out and his fingertips traced so lightly across her breast.  He circled her nipple and she shivered.  He looked at her.  “Can I?” he asked.

 

She looked at him.  “Steve, you just had your tongue inside me.  You have permission.”

 

He groaned, hauling her into his lap, his lips sealing around one nipple as his hand caressed the other breast.  Peggy knew she had nice breasts, but she hadn’t really anticipated this level of fascination from him.  “My imagination didn’t begin to do you justice,” he admitted, nuzzling against her.  He took her other nipple in his mouth, sucking lightly.  The thread of pleasure went straight to her core and she squirmed against him.  

 

While this was certainly enjoyable, it wasn’t what she was wanting right at the moment.  She pushed against him, forcing him on his back.  He looked disappointed, but as she grabbed his shorts and pulled them down, running her fingertips across his cock, he got over it.

 

His eyes were shut and his mouth was open in a pant as she gripped him and stroked him.  She released him for a moment, quickly snagging the pillow off her bed.  She tossed it to him and he caught it.  “Watch me,” she said.

 

He just stared at her for a moment and then nodded, situating the pillow behind his head as she urged him to spread his legs and she knelt between them.  He watched her intently as she stroked him.  Leaning over him, she licked him from root to tip as his breath caught in his throat.  He was already excited, salty liquid beading at the head of his cock.  She licked across the head and then swirled her tongue around it before sealing her lips around him and bobbing her head.  He was impressively large.  Part of her wondered how much of that was him, and how much was the serum.  Maybe she’d ask him some day.  In the meantime, she bobbed her head again, taking more of him this time.  As she pulled back to the tip, she looked at him, making eye contact.  She held the contact as she dipped her head again, this time, sucking lightly.

 

His expression was almost pained and she knew he was very close.  He’d been close for a long time.  She took him again, deeper, then pulled back to the tip and took him again.  “Peggy, I’m gonna - “

 

She dipped her head again, humming and he gasped, his body shuddering as he came.  She sucked him down and finally pulled back to the tip, releasing him from her mouth.  She looked at him and licked her lips.  

 

“Fuck,” he cursed, letting his head fall back against the pillow.

 

Chuckling to herself, she slowly made her way up his body, licking and nipping at his stomach and chest and finally his neck.  She sucked at his neck, leaving a deep lovebite.  It was rather classless, she knew.  But she wanted something to mark him as hers, even if she knew it would be gone by morning.

 

His hands skimmed up her arms and he pulled her down against him, kissing her deeply as his hands found her breasts again, touching her reverently.  For a long time, they just kissed and touched, exploring, enjoying.  He hadn’t been exaggerating earlier.  He was hard again in no time, but he seemed content to just taste and touch.  

 

Peggy, however, wasn’t content. Bracing her hands against his chest, she pushed herself into a sitting position on him and rubbed against the hard length of him.  They both groaned and his fingertips bit into her hips.  

 

“I have a johnnie,” he said.

 

She shook her head, shocked by how offensive she found the idea.  “It’s not my time,” she said.  “We’ll be okay.  I want to feel you inside me.  I want you to come inside me.”

 

He groaned, nodding.  

 

Reaching down, she took him in hand and slowly slid down on him, gasping.   “Jesus, you feel good,” she cursed, rocking her hips, taking him deep and then shallow.  She took his hands, moving them from her hips to her breasts.  She held them there, clasping him to her as she rose and fell on him.  He held her, lightly pinching her nipples, which caused her to ride him harder, to push into his hands.  She rolled her hips and the change in angle caused him to rub against a spot deep inside of her that made her shudder.

 

“ _Peggy_ ,” he groaned, pushing up against her.  

 

She shook her head.  “Don’t come,” she said.  “Not yet.”

 

He nodded, closing his eyes.  She released his hands, but he kept them where they were, cupping her breasts.  She braced her left hand in the center of his chest, continuing to ride him as her right hand sifted through her curls, rubbing her clit.  “Fuck,” she cursed, throwing her head back as she moved on him.  

 

She felt it start, curling up from the base of her spine and she gasped.  Steve’s hands found her hips again, keeping her moving as her climax washed over her.  She wasn’t completely done yet before he joined her with a muffled groan, slamming her hips down against his and holding her there as he buried himself deep.

 

She sat there, breathing hard, hands braced against his chest as she looked down at him.  “Fuck,” she said, dragging her hand through her hair.  

 

He pulled her down, kissing her.  He gathered her close, wrapping the blankets around both of them.  She patted him on his lovely shoulder, exhausted and sated.  “I think I’m going to need a nap before the next round,” she said.

 

She felt him chuckle and then kiss her temple before the darkness took her.

 

END CHAPTER


End file.
